Alternative Facebook groups and apps

3 May 2009rant, satire

Buck the trend, and consider these great alternatives to Facebook’s most popular.

Group: I Hate Two Word Text Messages!

When hating text messages with one word isn’t enough, or hating text messages that are simply too long and spill over into two messages, this group is for all of you who absolutely hate two-word text messages.

App: Which REAL-LIFE character are you?

Isn’t it boring finding out which fictional character you’re most like? Is there anything remotely exciting about affiliating yourself to an animated character from your childhood?

App: Take the “How annoying are your Facebook updates” QUIZ!

Everyone already knows how annoying you are by your joining of pointless groups and the sharing of results to pointless quiz applications; so what harm will one extra do?

Group: I’m careless with my phone

It’s a funny old world we live in now. It seems we can’t go anywhere without losing our mobile phone! On the bus. In a taxi. Down the toilet. Or even just in your hand bag. Crazy!

Group: I bet there at least 1,000,000 idiots on Facebook

It’s nice to bet about meaningless things such as the number of people in one geographic location who are also members of Facebook, but what would be more interesting is getting all the idiots on Facebook in one group!

App: Yellow sparkling chickens

Colourful cartoon chickens which are sparkling-yellow in colour. Essential.

Group: Let’s declare every day a national holiday

Why the hell not!? I’m sure if you conducted a survey of all the “let’s make subject X a national holiday” there would be enough days to fill a whole year.

Group: Who has the best ear lobes in [City]

Very important topic that should be discussed and voted for in all areas.

Group: I remember everything

In celebration of people who can confirm their brain cells are functioning correctly and can remember things from ten years ago, let’s sit back and appreciate the people who can remember absolutely everything.

Group: You know you’re in a Facebook group for something pointless when…

… when it has no relevance to anything.

Group: Facebook’s useless apps and groups appreciation group

No list would be complete without one.